“I cannot say whether things will get better if we change; what I can say is they must change if they are to get better”

– Georg C. Lichtenberg 

It has been almost a year since I posted anything on this blog. All the motivation for writing seem to have left me and even though I had so much to say, forming sensible prose was just not possible.

So here I am, giving it another go, rebooting, resetting the system and starting again.  Best time of the year to start – spring – the season of new life.  But life has thrown a curve ball at us,  and the last few weeks have left me in shock, sorrow and an intense sense of loss.

After retiring from my job which took up all my time, I joined a group of very dedicated people to help the community and help bring back to life an old hospital building which was mothballed.  This group welcomed me with open arms and I got very close to some of the group and we are now good friends – almost like family.  But a fortnight ago, one of them was suddenly and tragically taken away from us and that has been such a horrible shock.

I got to know Lindsay as my cat Fudge’s vet.  Fudge was a cat with attitude and not people friendly but somehow tolerated Lindsay and in fact, became very passive in his hands.  The number of times I had to take him to Lindsay as he has had a fight with a passing neighbourhood cat and injured himself.  Then later I met Lindsay and his wonderful wife Alison through the group. 

We all worked in different combinations at the Jenner Centre and there were times I spent the afternoon with Lindsay.  We used to have conversations on so many different topics and the couple of hours passed so quickly.  I was in awe of him as he was so knowledgeable about so many things.  We had shared interests like history,  nature, photography and of course our group – Brechin Healthcare Group.   The last day we spent together I got a lesson on the sport of rugby and the history of Dundee…  never thought I will never see him again.  RIP Lindsay😢

Coping during this difficult period is hard- whether after a tragedy like a loss of someone you knew well and respected,  the pandemic,  a horrible war where innocents are being hunted down for reasons known only to the perpetrators.   Everyone has their own way to getting through this.  I’m trying to find a way to come to terms.   All these bring forth all the losses in our lives and how helpless we feel as there is nothing we can do to change them and just be hapless spectators watching life play it’s drama.

I am hoping that the weather will turn and spring will make a proper appearance, the March equinox will bring some warmer days and sunshine, will give us all a chance to get out and enjoy the outdoors.   Life goes on but how we live it,  is up to us.